Newspaper

The Blocky Chronicle

Date: 2026-03-30 | Map Size: 175G

Events

Server chatter was lively this week, with new player zelliy immediately requesting gear upon joining. ABroadbean004 also joined, expressing curiosity about the server's nature and asking if others were in 'spec'.

A notable series of messages came from player Euboea, who vocalized strong opinions about "chinese people" putting "something in the water" and a persistent need to "piss." Euboea described Baltimore as a "trap" and claimed to be constantly watched. After a brief AFK, Euboea welcomed snoopdog14296 to hardcore, reiterating feelings of being watched and the Baltimore situation. Finally, Euboea reported that "spawn is disabled," interpreting it as a deliberate act to prevent players from leaving.

Obituaries

We are pleased to report that no deaths were recorded on the server this past week. May this trend continue!

Weather Forecast

Expect a mix of clear skies and scattered showers across the overworld. The Nether will maintain its usual fiery conditions, while the End remains perpetually void-like. Don't forget your umbrellas and fire resistance potions!

Horoscopes

Aries (March 21 - April 19): A new adventure calls! Be bold, but don't forget your shield.

Taurus (April 20 - May 20): Resource gathering will be fruitful. Your patience will be rewarded.

Gemini (May 21 - June 20): Communication is key. Share your thoughts, but choose your words wisely.

Cancer (June 21 - July 22): Focus on home and hearth. A cozy base brings comfort and security.

Leo (July 23 - August 22): Leadership opportunities arise. Inspire your team to greater heights.

Virgo (August 23 - September 22): Organize your chests! A tidy inventory leads to efficiency.

Libra (September 23 - October 22): Seek balance in all things. Diplomatic solutions prevail.

Scorpio (October 23 - November 21): Uncover hidden secrets. Deep caves hold both danger and reward.

Sagittarius (November 22 - December 21): Explore new biomes. The journey is as important as the destination.

Capricorn (December 22 - January 19): Build lasting structures. Your hard work will stand the test of time.

Aquarius (January 20 - February 18): Innovate and invent. Your unique ideas will solve problems.

Pisces (February 19 - March 20): Trust your intuition. Sometimes, the quietest whispers guide best.

Classifieds

Job Listings

• Nether Wart Taster: Discern subtle flavor notes and potency levels. Must have strong resistance to nausea. Apply at the local Brewing Stand.
• Creeper Wrangler: Safely herd volatile Creepers for controlled landscaping and excavation. Experience with blast-proof gear required.
• Golem Groomer: Keep Iron and Snow Golems in pristine condition. Must be gentle with the iron, firm with the snow. Benefits include free iron nuggets.

Matchmaker Inquiries: Torch-Lit Hearts

Lonely Miner Seeks Companion: Seeking a brave soul for long cave expeditions. Must love diamonds, hate phantoms, and not mind the occasional lava bath. Good sense of direction a plus. Reply with your favorite ore!

Response: Your pickaxe may be lonely, but your heart doesn't have to be! Try our new 'Torch-Lit Hearts' service. We'll help you find a fellow miner to share those precious moments... and precious resources!